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I Did Not Urinate on Your Chicken

January 27th, 2020   |   By Tom Woods

I hate the way much of the public treats the people who serve them.

Yesterday I was at KFC. (Necessary instruction to socially awkward libertarians: do not lecture me about the evils of fast food; this misses the point of my story completely.) The poor cashier was running around like a madman, with one person after another demanding this or that, and half of them not even fully understanding what they had ordered.

In my case, my order got mixed up with someone else’s, so I placed it on the counter and asked if I could please have the correct one.

The cashier told an older man waiting for his food that this was actually his order.

The man’s response was to bellow: “Oh, no it isn’t! That was already given out! I want a fresh one!”

Now to some extent, fair enough. (Although I recall being in a restaurant in Spain, seeing the waiter take uneaten bread from one table and place it on another, and nobody batting an eye.)

But this guy was just downright nasty. Would it have killed him to say, “I would prefer a freshly prepared one, please”?

An any rate, the man turned to me and said, “No offense to you, but you see my point!”

I replied, “I did not urinate on it, I assure you.”

For some reason, that was immensely satisfying.


Dealing face-to-face with an unjustifiably angry public day after day has to beat anyone down. That’s one reason I don’t do it.

The beauty of what we’re teaching in our webinar tomorrow is that your eCommerce store is run from the comfort of your laptop, and without having to deal with nasty people in your face.

You’ve heard our teacher, Aidan Booth, twice on the Tom Woods Show. He’s been responsible for a boatload of success stories among my listeners who’d like to build something on the side or perhaps even escape a life of angry chicken buyers.

Just for showing up and watching the whole presentation, I’m giving away my $97 product for $0, and handing out cash prizes to 20 random people.

Go sign up now, and I’ll see you there:

Check Out This Jackass

January 25th, 2020   |   By Tom Woods

Michael Boldin, founder of the Tenth Amendment Center, was the very first guest on the Tom Woods Show. We’re talking episode number one.

Today he shared some feedback he received from a reader. I’ve used asterisks over the foul language, and kept all the punctuation errors.

Get this:

“Have you heard of this newfangled invention called POWERPOINT. ****WITS! You spaced out the statements too far apart. I cant scroll through your click bait to find your message. Too much swirling graphics NOT SEXY. NOT IMPRESSED. UNSUBSCRIBED. (The funny thing here is, is that I actually support U and & ur cause…. Just can’t get past your sh**ty moronic way of communicating… ****TARD!”

Imagine being displeased with someone’s presentation style and responding like that. This is not a normal person.

Thankfully, I’m not in a business where I have to bend over backwards to appease people like this (and neither is Michael). I can just tell them to go jump in a lake.

And so can you.

Emails and blog posts from me come and go, but if you’ve been waiting for the soup-to-nuts, explain-every-step-to-me eCommerce system of the sort my listeners have prospered with over the years — and taught by Aidan Booth, the same person who taught them — well, your ship has just come in.

What could be a cooler side hustle than “I run this online store”? For one thing, your friends will think you’re some kind of wizard: who the heck knows how to run an online store?

For another, you don’t have any overhead or inventory with an eCommerce store, so it’s much easier than opening a corner shop somewhere.

Sign up for the live workshop Aidan is doing with me, and I’m throwing in some mighty fine bonuses just for showing up:

(1) My Tom Woods Email Domination Program, which teaches how to build and monetize an email list, and which normally sells for $97, is yours for $0 just for showing up and staying for the presentation;

(2) I’m giving $100 prizes to each of 20 random attendees;

(3) If we hit 500 live attendees I’ll be making a $5K donation to Antiwar-dot-com, a very worthy cause.

What NOT to do now:
Click the link and then leave without signing up.

What to do now:
Click the link and sign up, and I’ll see you there:

Nigerian to Woods: Cough Up My $66,000

November 18th, 2019   |   By Tom Woods

So maybe you’ve had the widow of a Nigerian prince offer to send you dough.

I’ve had a Nigerian demand more than $60,000 from me. No joke.

Back before I offered 50% commissions at Liberty Classroom I offered a flat $30. If someone joined through your link, I sent you $30.

Well, this Nigerian wrote and said: please send me my $66,000.


He had sent 2200 clicks to Liberty Classroom. He multiplied that by $30 to arrive at his figure.

Dear reader, how many sales do you think his 2200 clicks translated into?

Zero, of course.

The clicks were all crap, from a click factory.

I explained to him that clicks alone earn him nothing. It’s sales that count. Did he know how to promote a product like this?

I never heard from him again.

That guy was clueless.

Now it’s true: if you’re not clueless, there are opportunities galore to make a living — or at least a nice side hustle — with your laptop and an Internet connection.

How to be not clueless?

Learn from people who know what the %$@&# they’re talking about.

Michael Cheney and I know what we’re talking about. We have nearly 30 years of combined experience, and we have the receipts to prove that we ain’t no novices.

So we created a nice, inexpensive training program for all you folks who dream of telling your boss to take this job and shove it.

We’re more than doubling the price at midnight Eastern, though, so now’s the time:


I Gave Away a Car. Here Are the Results

September 17th, 2019   |   By Tom Woods

In 2017 I held an affiliate contest: whoever brought in the most sales of Liberty Classroom, my subscription site, through his link over the course of Black Friday weekend would win a brand new car: a 2017 Kia Soul.

For people in the next nine slots I gave away $5000 in cash prizes – in addition to the 50% commissions I paid.

Why did I do this?

First because, come on, I looked like Joe Cool.

Giving away a car, for heaven’s sake? That’s sweet. Ain’t no other libertarian giving you a car.

But more to the point, I figured: if I give away prizes, people will try harder to promote their affiliate link so they can make sales and win a prize.

The site grossed about $143,000 that weekend. So yes, I’d say the prizes worked.

So here’s my thought right now:

If giving away prizes made people work harder to promote my product, what if instead of prizes I just gave away all the money?

You make a sale, you keep 100% of the dough, for a full year.

I’ve even made a video showing you how to do it.

Sound good?

Well, duh.

This is obviously the best bonus I have ever offered, and it’s likely to be the best bonus I will ever offer.

I honestly don’t have anything better than this.

Join Gerry Cramer’s affiliate training program, and this bonus (plus two others almost as good) are yours.

You will go mad if you don’t at least click, and you don’t want that to happen, so:


Meet Your New Enemies

September 16th, 2019   |   By Tom Woods

You know the advantages of affiliate marketing:

— no 9-to-5 grind;
— no product creation;
— no customer service;
— no inventory;
— no shipping;
— can work from anywhere;
— can work whatever hours suit you;
— and so on.

Here’s the disadvantage:

Some people will resent you.

This is unavoidable.

If you aren’t slaving away at a traditional 9-to-5 job, and you’re having success in a more pleasant if unorthodox way, some people won’t be able to compute what you’re doing, and they may even think you’re cheating somehow.

If they have to slave away, so should you.

How dare you break from what everyone else is doing?

You will find that you won’t even be able to discuss the subject with some of the people you know. There will be veiled hostility, and awkwardness, the whole time. You think I’m joking. I’m not. It’s weird.

But you know what? This disadvantage of affiliate marketing doesn’t matter to me at all.

If it helps me smoke out the losers, all the better.

I don’t want to spend time with people like this.

I’d rather spend it with people like you, dear reader, who actually want to make a change in your life, instead of pretending, with these people, that staying in a grind you hate is some kind of virtue.

Gerry Cramer’s program is about to close.

He is the world’s number-one affiliate marketer, and he’s managed to get his students into eight of the top ten slots – out of 100,000 affiliates – on the world’s greatest affiliate network.

Think that guy might know something you don’t?

And if you do, I’m offering you the best bonuses I’ve ever offered:

(1) For one year, 100% commissions on my Liberty Classroom subscription site. Someone clicks on your link and joins, and you get 100% of the money.

(2) An exclusive ask-me-anything session, just for people who join.

(3) Once you’ve chosen a product to promote (Gerry will help you), I’ll promote it to my audience to get you traffic and sales.

You’re smart enough to see how valuable those are.

Now go make the time to watch this presentation, and screw those envious bastards:


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