Tom’s Tips

Sure I'll Clean Your Bathroom, You Disgusting Pig

Posted by: By Tom Woods | September 21, 2017

As a college freshman, I was given two options for a part-time job: work in the dining hall, or clean bathrooms.

The bathroom cleaning paid slightly more, so I went with that.

It didn’t take long to figure out why it paid more.


I had a master key to all the rooms in Dunster House, so I could get in and clean bathrooms even if people weren’t home.

I always hoped they wouldn’t be — if there was something more uncomfortable than cleaning a disgusting bathroom, it was doing it with the resident sitting ten feet away.

That sure makes it all the more glorious in 2017 to have raked in — I’m not kidding — $25,818.74 after a week’s worth of part-time work.

I almost feel ridiculous reporting that figure. How the #$%& can it be real?

All will be explained, my friend. But our little workshop isn’t being recorded, so reserve your seat:

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